Relationship work is often important in all those issues/problems because every one of us started with a relationship (our parent/s)--some healthier than others—and many of us have formed our own newer ones, some healthier than others.
Today’s relationships are the ones we can work on. Is there someone out there that you’d like to bring in with you?
“…people hearing without listening…”
Paul Simon, “Sounds of Silence”
Relationships can get better.
How many times have you told someone something and you just knew they weren’t listening? Hearing maybe, listening—nope.
It’s not that the other person doesn’t care, it’s that listening-- real listening--is a skill. In my office, good listening is a skill you learn and practice. This opens up new avenues of communication in any couple: spouses, partners, siblings, parent and child (of any age).
And once you begin respectful listening, it becomes clearer how each of you makes sense.
How can I tell if therapy is working?
You will know because you will start to feel better. Clients have told me:
“I don’t feel as depressed and alone.”
“I understand now that my feelings make sense.”
“I know some things to do when I start feeling anxious.”
“I’ve learned to trust my instincts more.”
“So, who I am today does come from where I was yesterday.”
“Your office gave me a safe place to talk.”
Therapy is not an end but a process. It helps to have patience in therapy because important changes don’t happen overnight. Remember, most problems develop over a significant period of time. So come in, work with me, work with yourself. Bring your spouse, your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your child…and notice that slowly but surely things can get better. You can feel less sad, less alone, less anxious, less frustrated, less scared.